Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
