new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
