The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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