Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
