rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
