if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
