yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
