I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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