A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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