is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
