why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
