he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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