if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
