it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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