If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
