So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
