I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
