Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
