I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
