There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
