why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
