What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
