So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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