Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
