I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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