So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
