he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
