So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
