have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i drank out of a bidet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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