This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
