Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
