don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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