you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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