Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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