The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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