please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
