Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
