I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
