I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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