Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize