you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
