your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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