we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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