I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
