Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
