Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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