I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
