She said her name was "party"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
