It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
