If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
