pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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