I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
